


How Bad Can It Be?

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Bullying, Coming Out, Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: "You've never been normal. This-" Lukas pointed all around them. "You hate this! You hate normal people who like sports and running around and going to dances! You hate it! You say it's boring!""Lukas..." Philip only sounded more tired. "This isn't about being normal or not. People who read books and like rock over boy bands aren't murdered. On the news.. I saw a gay man and his partner got beaten and killed in their own home. They called it a hate crime." Philip was crying. "I don't want that happening to me. That's why I didn't tell."





	How Bad Can It Be?

In sixth grade Philip Shea was caught kissing Ryan Miller behind the school while everyone was at recess. The next day everyone knew about him liking boys, including his best friend Lukas, who was pissed. Now, Lukas was not angry because Philip was kissing a boy, Lukas hardly cared about that. Lukas was pissed that he had to find out from Sally Moore that his best friend since the third grade was gay. 

Lukas knew that the word getting out wasn't intentional and that Philip would have ended up telling him, but Lukas was still upset. Would Philip have told him? Or was he hiding it from everyone? 

When they ended up talking about it, Philip admitted that he was, in fact, hiding it from everyone. That only made Lukas more mad. Why would Philip need to hide it? They were best friends. They told each other everything. Like how when Philip was six he jumped off the shed thinking he could fly and how when Lukas was nine he learned that you weren't supposed to eat the wrapper and the candy of a sucker, but just the sucker.

"We tell each other everything!" Lukas had shouted. His face was red with anger and embarrassment. Maybe they weren't as good of friends as Lukas had thought. "All of our secrets! All of them!" Lukas was sure he was more upset about it than Philip was.

"This isn't the kind of secret you think it is." Philip had argued. It wasn't angry or sad. He was defeated. He had just spent the past twenty four hours dealing with people yelling and questioning and whispering about him. He didn't need his best friend doing it, too. "This isn't some embarrassing story. This is a part of me, Lukas. A part of me that's like no one else around here. It's not normal!" Philip never felt normal. Liking boys had only ended up confirming that he was a freak. 

"You've never been normal. This-" Lukas pointed all around them. "You hate this! You hate normal people who like sports and running around and going to dances! You hate it! You say it's boring!" 

"Lukas..." Philip only sounded more tired. "This isn't about being normal or not. People who read books and like rock over boy bands aren't murdered. On the news.. I saw a gay man and his partner got beaten and killed in their own home. They called it a hate crime." Philip was crying. "I don't want that happening to me. That's why I didn't tell." 

Lukas nodded. He wasn't angry more. Instead he was afraid. What if Philip did get killed for liking boys? He didn't want that happening. "I won't let that happen." Lukas pulled Philip into a hug. He could feel the eyes on them. Hear people saying that he was gay, too. Or that he was going to catch some disease. Lukas didn't care, though. If he was going to get "sick" or be gay for being with Philip, then he was sick and gay. 

Lukas had kept his promise for the most part. He defended him when bullies came at him. He covered up any mean words written on Philips locker. He had gotten into a handful of fights because no one throws a punch at Philip without getting their ass beat. By the time they were in eighth grade everyone feared messing with Philip, well, they feared it for the most part.

Rumors still spread like wildfire. That Philips mom was gay and that's why he was. That Philip had a weird crush on a male teacher. That Philip liked dogs too and would go home and kiss the one he had. The weirder the faster it spread. And no matter what you say you can't stop a rumor. Even when it's about you.

The new year had only began when the crush stories stopped being weird. It was January and it seemed as if everyone's New Years resolution was to throw out the weird crush stories and replace the main characters with boys in their grade. At first it was one of the quiet kids, then the captain of the baseball team, then it was the water boy from the basketball teams. Philip didn't even know those boys, so it didn't matter, but the next one he did know. And it felt like the end of the world.

It was January 30th when the rumor finally makes it to Lukas. He was in science class, too tight goggles wrapped around his skull as he worked at cutting open a worm. It was gross, but his second best friend, Rose, refused to do it. 

A girl, Amy Brooks, leaned across the table and tapped Lukas' shoulder. "Did you hear?" 

Lukas didn't reply, he hardly ever did. He didn't like talking to people. "I'm trying to do my work, now isn't the time for the current middle school drama." He rolled his eyes when he said "middle school" because it sounded so childish. 

"Not even if the drama involves you?" Amy tilted her head to the side. She was wearing too much lip gloss and her pony tails seemed to be so tight they were cutting off the circulation to her brain, but whatever.

Lukas stopped moving and looked up at her. "And what might that drama be?" 

"Rumor has it that Philip Shea has a crush on you.." She twirled her hair on her finger and chewed on her gum. "And has since sixth grade. Thats why he always follows you around like some lost puppy. It's pathetic." She glanced over her shoulder at Philip before laughing. "Can't say I'm surprised. He's always around you. Like a stalker." 

Rose slapped her hand off of the table. "Don't you have boys to get rejected by?" She turned and looked Amy up and down. "Leave. You and I both know you have no time to waste. This isn't a rumor, it's a fact. You've been chasing boys so much you haven't done your work and you might get held back." Amy glared at her as she walked away. Rose only smiled and waved before turning back to Lukas. "Are we going to ignore this? Or are we gonna attempt to put a stop on it like we did with Ryan at the beginning?" 

"I don't know." Lukas was watching Philip. "Maybe I'll ask him what he wants us to do. Since this is deeper than any of the others. He knows me..." 

Rose nodded. "Ask him at lunch. He sits with us and us only. And it's away from everyone. No risk of anyone listening and telling." 

Lukas didn't take his eyes off of Philip. "Yeah. At lunch." 

When the lunch bell finally rang Lukas ran as fast as he could to the cafeteria. He was panting and sweating when he finally made it to the table they always sit at, but Philip wasn't there. In fact, he was no where in the cafeteria. Lukas bit his lip and looked around, twisting and turning, trying to find Philip. But he wasn't down there. Lukas ran his fingers through his hair and pushed past the people coming downstairs in order to run back upstairs. He rushed towards the library, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw Philip sitting at one of the tables closer to the back.

Lukas rushed through the library, peeking around one of the shelves. "I found you." He smiled, slipping his backpack off and tossing it onto the table. "So... why weren't you at the normal place?" 

"Did you hear?" Philip whispered. He stared at the table as if the pattern of the wood suddenly held all of the world's secrets. "The rumor... about m-"

"I heard it. And I don't care." Lukas leaned against the table and smiled. "I know you don't feel that way. It's stupid. You would never feel that way." Philip looked at Lukas. There were tears in his eyes. "Really, don't worry." Lukas said. "We're just friends. That's just some dumb li-" 

Lukas was cut off by Philip standing up and grabbing his backpack. He pushed past Lukas, their shoulders slamming into each other as he walked. He ran towards the door, rubbing at his eyes, bedore continuing down the hall and out of Lukas' sight. What did he do wrong? 

Lukas didn't see Philip until class was dismissed for the day. What he did have to see were people watching him and whispering as he walked away. They said he was the freaks new victim. That Philip was gonna kill him if he rejected him. It was like the lies could never be too extreme. Everything made sense because Philip was the gay kid and of course gay people are all monsters. Why was it a big deal? How was gay so much different? It killed Lukas seeing people treat Philip this way but he didn't know how to stop it. 

Philip had already started down the road by the time Lukas got out of school. Lukas gripped his backpack tight as he ran down the sidewalk, calling Philips name. Philip ignored him, though, keeping his eyes on his feet as he walked.

"Philip!" Lukas yelled, grabbing the back of his backpack. "Dude! Why are you avoiding me? You skipped Math and English. It's like you hate me now or something."

"No, Lukas, it's the exact opposite." Philip snapped, shrugging his backpack off, grabbing a strap and yanking it out of Lukas' grip. "The rumor-"

"Its fake. I know. It doesn't matter, Philip." Lukas reached out to touch Philip but he backed away. "It's not... I know you don't like me like that. It would be-"

"Weird?" Philip asked, glaring up at Lukas. "Then I guess I am weird since the rumor is true. I like you. I'm the weird gay kid who has a crush on his best friend." He whipped around and started to walk, shaking his head. "Just leave me alone!" 

"Shit." Lukas whispered. "Look, I take it back, okay? It does matter. It's not weird. I was just trying to make you feel better!" 

"Well you did a real good job." Philip turned back around. "Just go home. I don't want to talk to you."

"Then don't talk to me." Lukas walked up next to him, smiling. "I'll just do the talking and hope I don't mess things up again." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked with Philip. "I think its sweet... that you have a crush on me. You're sweet." He nudged Philip. "Come on, smile. I called you sweet."

Philip rolled his eyes. "You're straight. You don't have to feel bad and compliment me in order to let me down easy." He sighed. "I already know you won't ever like me. Thats fine. I just wish everyone else didn't know that, too." 

"How bad can it be?" Lukas shrugged. "They'll get over it in a week. They're too small brained to stay focused on one thing." 

"Its really bad." Philip sighed. "They're never gonna let me live it down. Plus, it's like everyone says. I'm the creepy gay guy who had a crush on a straight guy. It's weird."

"How do you know I'm straight?" Lukas stepped in front of him. "Maybe I like boys, too and just no one knows."

"Well.." Philip chewed on his cheek. "Do you? Or are you just teasing me?" 

"I dunno." Lukas looked at the road. "Kissing you doesn't sound bad. And everyone says I should be weirded out but I'm not... I'm kinda happy."

"Yeah?" Philip was smiling. It was beautiful. 

"Yeah. The idea of you liking the other boys... made me mad. Not like the rumor part but... thinking you liked someone else." He whispered. His cheeks were red. It made Philip smile wider.

"So... does that mean you like me back?" Philip stepped closer. It was like in the movies. Except neither of them knew what to do. There weren't really movies with two boys. Just a boy and a girl. And neither of them knew which one was the boy and which one was the girl. 

"Maybe?" Lukas looked at the people walking towards them. "I don't know. How do you know you like someone?"

Philip tilted his head to the side. "You feel a pain in your stomach. Like butterflies. It's a good pain." He put his hand on Lukas' stomach. "Does your stomach hurt?" 

"Yeah.. a little bit..." 

"Maybe that means you like me a little bit." Philip pulled away and smiled. "Do you wanna kiss me?" 

Lukas licked his lips. "Maybe... now my stomach hurts a lot." 

"Then that means you like me." Philip looked around them as people passed. "Maybe."

Lukas nodded. "Maybe." He dug his toe into the cracks on the sidewalk. "Do you wanna kiss me?" 

Philip grinned, nodding. His cheeks were bright pink. "I think about it a lot..." He backed away, shyly.

"Maybe we could kiss..." Lukas stepped towards him. "To see if we like each other. Because you're awesome and I just... I wanna know if I like you so no other boys steal you."

"No one will ever steal me from you." He smiled. "You're my favorite. I don't like any other boys." 

"Good." Lukas pressed his forehead to Philips, pecking his lips. "How was that?" 

"It was a kiss, Lukas, a kiss from a boy I like. It was great."

"Good." Lukas pulled away, turning around. "Then it's settled. I'm a good kisser and you're madly in like with me-" 

"And?"

"And I'm madly in like with you, too."


End file.
